Thursday, August 02, 2012
It was 1994 when my life changed, when 13 years old. That year lots of things happened to me.
I started reading Nietzche.
Kurt Cobain was found dead and I cried when I saw on the news. I run to the bathroom and locked the door and cry, cry cry...
I was in love with The Smashing Pumpkins, 'cause in every little song I felt they were talking about myself, from Spaceboy to Disarm.
I watched The Crow film and fell in love with that story...
And then, in 1995, I watched on Tv this show , 'My so-called life', about teenagers and their problems and everything that was happening to me and all the teens who watched the show too on that time. 'Cause, for being real, we've all got a little of Angela Chase inside us. And sometimes we all wanted to be a little bit wild like Rayanne, and fell in love with Jordan Catalano.
But at the end, we all did the same question to ourselves: who am I? I was a little goth teen who used to listen to so much music, read tons of books and closed her eyes, dreaming of being really far away.
It was the 90s and I was running to find myself, looking in every mirror, and in every corner inside me. I fell in love with lots of guys, but I was really shy, and a goth teen... and I used to scared people when I talked to them, as I seem 'so smart for me' (they used to say). That's why I had few friends from my age at that time, 'cause they really didn't understand me at all; even my closer friends didn't do that.
I was running, looking for my future, looking for my life. I'm still looking for it. I still run. And I feel free about that, and about life; and I feel I can do whatever I want if I believe in me.
So Angela did. So YOU all can do.