Anxiety check

Hey there, stranger. 

How are you doing? For some of you, this would have been the first week at home quarantine. For some other, maybe less, maybe more. And I can imagine how hard it is, being stuck in a place while you could be enjoying outside. We don't value things until we lose them, I think that this freedom that we usually have will be much appreciated it once this has passed, right? I hope so. 

I'm not gonna give you a list of things to do while being at home. I believe everyone should do what thinks it's best, and not force themselves to do anything productive if they don't feel like it. But I wanna know how are you handling the anxiety that may be generated these days in which you cannot escape from home, and offer you help. 

You see, I've written about anxiety before here, here, here and here (in Spanish, but you can use the translate button on the sidebar, no worries!), and as I said before, we should totally talk about this more often, because believe me, you're not alone, and the voices of others who may have passed the same situation in which you're at the moment may help. 

People always say that you must confront the source of your anxiety and they're right, but in a situation like the one we are living nowadays it can be very complicated, so please, don't feel guilty if you don't do this immediately. The most important thing is to stay calm and as healthier as possible (physically and mentally), if that means that you should avoid whatever disruptive thoughts that may lead to a panic attack, do it, and don't feel guilty about it. There will come other times in which you can confront it (and get over it, of course!), but don't force yourself into this road since we know is not a nice one.

I'm at home with my boyfriend, and although sharing the same space all the time might be a tricky situation, we're doing quite well. I don't mind to be at home at all, when we moved to the Netherlands I spent quite a lot of time by myself here, since he was working and I wasn't, but I enjoyed my time by myself quite a lot. I had (and still have) my routine for when he's not around; having a routine in situations like this is quite important, so you won't lose track of time and think you've done nothing (even if you just need to catch up with that tv show, do it within a routine!). Now with the two of us here at home, I try to keep that routine every day too: waking up at a decent time, shower, dress, have breakfast, tidy the house, etc. It may be sunny outside, but we stay home. 

Sometimes I get anxious due to how the situation is developing in Spain. You see, my granny is quite old, and I worry about her. "Call her", you may say; and I do, of course, but still I cannot help to worry a lot about it. In those moments that I feel I cannot stop my thoughts, I breathe, as deeply as I can, and listen to music that won't let me think (like Kvelektar, for example). And hey, it takes a while but it fades while I focus myself in some other tasks to do. I may bite my nails still, but at least I can control the panic attacks most of the time like this. Exercise, plan meals, read a book, clean your wardrobe, craft, make a TikTok post... I know, I said I was not giving you a list of things to do, and you don't need to do any of these things but the ones that work for you to stay safe. 

Because in the end, that is the important thing. Stay healthy, stay safe. After this has ended, there will be more battles to fight. 

But I will talk about those battles some other day. And about my anxiety to talk on the phone, which I have may discover the origins just recently. Life still amazes me sometimes.